I used to hide in my house on Mother’s Day.
There was a deep grief and resentment that overcame me when I realized I wouldn’t have children.
I couldn’t bear the joyful Mother’s Day wishes and random flowers thrust upon me by merchants or community members. Or the moments when someone was about to say “Happy Mother’s Day!” to me only to be stopped by a thought: “Oh. She’s not a mother.”
We make so many quick judgments that happen, don’t we? We do it for so many reasons: race, religion, creed, etc. All of those reasons that laws and society supposedly prohibit us from demonstrating that we hate each other.
The Mother vs. Childless Woman judgment is another one that we would be wise to set down and walk away from.
I’ve healed from most (most) of the pain of childlessness now, but I have observed this:
Some of us are Mothers in a specific way, and some of us are Mothers in a general way.
I am a Mother in a general way. I’ve cared for well-over a thousand children in my classrooms and within my family and circle of friends. I’ve had the back of many Mothers who needed extra help with their children. I was able to be patient and present with the children of others when others were not able.
I Create all the time; just not people.
Also, I have a Mother. Heck, I come from a long line of Mothers. So it makes perfect sense to me that, regardless of my own personal biological Motherness, I should happily receive a “Happy Mother’s Day” wish as well.
Let us celebrate all Mothers and Sacred Motherhood in general.
The Mothers in a specific way can–and no doubt should–be honored by their loved ones specifically. And we Mothers in a general way can enjoy Mother’s Day too, judgment- and guilt-free.
So go ahead and say it.
Happy Mother’s Day!